Monday, 14 January 2013

The Insufferable Sibling



“Who’s that Liverpool player you were talking about? Gerard Butler?”
“No. Steven Gerrard. Gerard Butler’s an actor.”
“What’s he act in?”
“I don’t know. Nothing you’d have seen him in. Oh, wait, he does the voice for Stoic in How to Train Your Dragon
“Oh. But where would I have seen him?”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t act in the kind of movies you watch.”
“What kind of movies does he act in?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him in anything, really”
“Then how do you know I haven’t?”
“Jeez, dude. I’m assuming that you haven’t been watching Gerard Butler movies on the sly of all things!”
“Why? Does he do dirty pictures? Like really x-rated ones?”
“No! Yes! What do I know and what the fuck do I care!”
“Show me a picture.”
“What!”
“Not a dirty picture. A picture of Gerard Butler. Or Steven Gerrard.”
“What the hell for?”
“If I see him in anything I’ll know who he is.”
“Why do you need to know who he is!”
“I’ll know he’s not Steven Gerrard then.”
“Shut up shut up! You’re not eve making any sense!”
“Why—”
And that’s where I give up and die.


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