Clone Wars

Why are you doing this? Whatever it is you’re doing. Stop for a second and give it a thought. Are you doing it because you want to? Or because somebody else wants you to? Ha. Or is it because you think somebody else wants you to?

 It’s that bunch over at school, you tell yourself. I mean, they never said explicitly that you should do the things they do, but hell, you’d fit in better if you did. You’d have more to talk about with them for sure. You’d gel with the group better if you’re more like them.

Peer pressure. Goddamn peer pressure. Wanting to be someone else. Wanting what A or B has, wanting the same score as C so that others will value you as much, wanting to be as popular as D, going to the same tuition class as E and basically running through the whole effing A to Z of things you absolutely have to be. Gosh, when you put it like that, it sounds so shallow somehow. Like does it make sense that you have to get that latest gadget everyone else is flaunting to feel secure and accepted? Or that pair of coloured skinnies (how long can you remain glued in blue). Or download that tv show. You’ll steal hard drives for it, I mean, they’re always talking about it. Always. You need to know what the hell it’s all about, never mind if your parents think it’s inappropriate. Jeez, if they have it, it must be ok, right?

But then you stop to think. Why exactly do you have to do all that to fit in with your friends? Can’t you just hang out with them? When do you get to be yourself and settle into your skin and forget about the skinnies. Be friends because you like—no love—your friends and not their things? Because they shouldn’t love you for your things either, right? Do you need Grey’s Anatomy to keep your friendship afloat, for Christ’s sake?